I Want You But I Don't Need You...

By Steven Roach

I would have to say that my dad was one of the wisest men I have ever known. He ranks right up there with Mr. Solomon in my estimation. I say that because of the times when I witnessed how he handled situations that would arise, especially in the church.

I was always the drummer in my dad's church and had pretty much claimed ownership of the position. I started playing drums in church when I was thirteen. Dad always liked my drum playing. If I saw someone showing interest in playing the drums, I would say, "Nah, you won't enjoy it as much as playing the xylophone or accordion." I became very protective of that corner of my world!

When I was fifteen something happened in the church orchestra and I was really bothered by it. Things just weren't right and I decided to take thing into my own hands. Rule #602 - sometimes it's better to keep your nose OUT of things. Things have a way of backfiring and noses can get hurt!

Well, I waited for the right opportunity and went to dad's office. I explained the situation to him. Since he was the Pastor, I figured he'd correct the situation. But when I explained my concern he didn't seem to be agitated at all like I was. I figured he would drop everything he was doing and go after it! But all he said was, "Hmm..." And then he tried to change the subject.

I said, "Whoa! Just a minute... that's it? Aren't you going to do something about it?" He said, "No."

So I proceeded to tighten the screws a little, thinking I could persuade him to act. I boldly informed him that I would no longer be playing the drums! He simply looked at me and said, "Okay."

I was really agitated now, because he wasn't supposed to respond like that. As I turned to storm out of his office, he said to me, "Son, I want you but I don't need you." Those words I shall never forget!

The next service came and I was still bothered. I went to church and sat in the second row rather than taking my place at the drums. In my mind, I was saying to dad, we'll see if you need me or not.

As the song service started without a drummer, my dad got up from his seat and came down from the platform toward the people. I thought, "He's coming down to get me and to tell me he is sorry for not immediately fixing the situation I had complained about." Instead, he walked right past me! he didn't even look at me! He went directly over to one of the other young guys, leaned over, and whispered in his ear. The guy got up and walked up to the platform and took his place at my
throne!"

I was livid! I kept hearing dad's words, "I want you but I don't need you." Sadly, the guy actually did a pretty good job playing the drums. I probably don't have to tell you that I didn't get much out of that service. But before the next service came around, I was back in dad's office. This time my tone had changed and I found myself apologizing for meddling in something that wasn't any of my business. Dad responded by saying. "I kinda like the other guy's playing. He did a great job! I think you should take a little time off." Dad graciously allowed me "time off" to get my spirit right.

What I didn't realize is that dad already knew all about the situation long before I did and was dealing with it even before I tried to insert my two-cent's worth. Time went on and the problem corrected itself. I should have just kept my nose out of it. It would have been a lot easier for me!

II Hezekiah says, "He that meddleth in his neighbour's business shall surely be put off the drums!" There are actually a couple of places in the Bible that do advise against meddling. They speak of "meddling to thine own hurt."

Editor's Note: Steven and Esther Roach pastor Victory Harvest Church in Brownsburg, Quebec, Canada. He is fourth generation Apostolic Pentecostal, coming from a family of ministers. This piece was written for Father's Day 2012.